For someone absolutely petrified of the dark, I truly moved to one of the darkest parts of the country. Driving through the mountains this weekend, I noticed several porch lights. A stark contrast against the dark. I couldn’t help but wonder, who are they leaving the porch light on for? Is it their way of…

Sometimes you ask the universe for a steak and it sends you a cow. Not a particularly healthy one, either. And instead of saying, this isn’t what I asked for, we start trying to figure out how to make it work. We see what it could be. A relationship that could be beautiful if things…

I don’t talk to my little sister anymore.That was my choice. I heard she’s navigating something incredibly scary and difficult today. I waited for the feeling I thought I was supposed to have. Worry.Fear.The immediate urge to reach out and say, Hey, I know we’re not talking but I heard about tomorrow. I hope you’re…

There is something deeply disorienting about watching someone give you freely what somebody else once convinced you was too much to ask for. Not grand gestures. Not someone rearranging their entire life for you. Just… showing up.Answering the phone.Coming when you ask them to come.Remembering the thing you told them.Making the drive.Keeping the plan. Standing…

My parents owned a BBQ restaurant when I was very young. Some of my earliest memories are of swimming in pickle buckets and being “Queen of the Hill.” They closed it down when I was in third grade, but my mother always wanted another BBQ restaurant. She already knew what she would call it. Carolyn’s…

I sort of accidentally dated someone recently.  That feels like the most accurate way to describe it. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I wasn’t particularly interested in finding one. I’d gotten pretty fucking comfortable with my own life. I have friends I love. Things I care about. Mountains to climb. Words to write. A whole…

There are things I’m very good at telling people. I will tell you when I am angry. I will tell you when something is funny. I will tell you a completely inappropriate story with entirely too much detail and absolutely no prompting. I will tell you about the mountains I climb. The thing my therapist…

Hi – I’m Hanna and I write poetry about everything. Last year, I published a poetry collection written from inside the trauma – the body that survived it, carried it and kept trying to build a life around all of the things it remembered. Last year, I also started piecing together what that same trauma…

I’m dating again. Which, depending on the day, feels exciting, mildly horrifying or like an incredibly elaborate way to acquire new material for therapy. Honestly – it’s all of these things. But I’m doing it. This time, it feels different. Not necessarily because the people are different but rather, because I am. I never thought…

I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to figure out what things mean. Not in the philosophical, stare at the stars and contemplate the universe kind of way. More in the anxious, slightly unhinged, forensic-investigation kind of way. What does this mean?Where is this going?What happens next?Is this permanent?Is this safe? Am I supposed…